Caught Out by the Passport, thanks to Brexit! Possibly the most expensive lunch!

 The husband was nervously waiting in the Eurostar queue to passport control. He knew it was a highly risky trip but the sheer excitement of the trip was worth the risk. It was potentially  the biggest risk of his life. But he was a risk taker, having been a City boy and climbing to the top of the City career ladder - he loved the thrill of risky behaviour. His heart was beating fast as he got near to the passport control. He assumed it was like the airline control, where the passports are scanned, and not stamped. He really banked on it not being stamped - surely they stopped all that stamping stuff - it was so old hat now in the digital age. He knew it was a risk but it was a risk he was prepared to make. it was just too too exciting!

His wife was away in Cornwall with their youngest child. They were coming back the next day and that's why the husband planned his trip to Brussells while they were away. 

Having told his wife he would not be seeing his lady friend again, and his first love - having fallen in love with her again in middle age, he decided this was an unreasonable request of his wife. How dare she tell him which friends he could see and which he could not. This lady was his best friend - he had known her longer than his wife - she was the most important person in his life - he was determined to see her as it was her birthday that week. He already messaged her and was able to phone her, FaceTime her and ring her up. His wife said that was fine, but she also said - he would be crossing a line if he physically went to see her. He knew he was crossing a line - but so what - the passports don't get stamped now he hoped - so wife will never ever find out about this first trip on his own - to take his first love out for lunch in Brussels. All being well, it would be the first of many visits to see her - his lady - his first love. oh the thought sent shivers down his spine.

He held out the passport - hey no scanner - what the....flip

The man opened the passport - he looked at the husband - and he stamped the passport. The ink was fresh and clear and it showed the date and the destination.

The husband started to perspire - oh blooming heck - my passport is stamped and the ink is so fresh and so clear - oh dear oh dear oh very dear! He was thinking he would hide the passport when he got home, before wifey and child got home.

He arrived in Brussels and was met by first love - her dulcet feminine charm thrilled him no end - they had 2.5. hours for their cosy lunchy wunchy - oh those precious hours alone together - her hubby was a workaholic so he was at work.

The hours were up - time to say goodbye - but all being well, it would be the first of many trips. As long as wifey can't see the passport. Oh blooming heck - another stamp on the way home. I hate Brexit I hate it!

He queued up again and the passport was stamped - the ink was fresh as a daisy and clear. 

Better think of a good place to hide the passport when I get home - I'll find a place for it - wifey won't know.

Wifey and son came home and he greeted them happily - and they were happy to see him too. Wifey felt something was strange.

The next morning wifey had a sixth sense to open the top drawer of the chest of drawers. The husband kept his passport there. He didn't know she knew.

The passport wasn't there! - she was shaking with nerves.

Where has he pat his passport I wonder?

She quickly searched in the bedroom and finally opened his wardrobe.

At the bottom lay a leather watch case.

She looked at it. She picked it up and she saw the edge of the passport. She was curious. Better be careful as husband was downstairs and she needed to be quick.

Oh my flipping heck - she saw the 2 stamps on the day she was away - the dates and destination was as fresh as ever - she was shaking and quaking and perspiring - her breathing was laboured as she clumsily got her phone and took a photo of the stamps. Her hands were shaking with white rage - she was puce with rage.

Wifey confronted the husband and he denied his trip - he denied it many times.

Wifey told him she found his passport with the Brussels stamps.

His face went red - she had caught him out - how the.... had she found it?!

He pursed his lips - "oh I was going to tell you about that trip - at an appropriate time".

You weren't you weren't! You tried to get away with it - thought I wouldn't find out. That's just duplicitous and caddish and disrespectful behaviour. You told me you would not be seeing that woman again!!!

You've had your chances - you cried wolf too many times. Well the worm has finally turned. Check Mate darling!

That cosy lunch of yours will be the most expensive lunch that ever was. I hope it was worth every blooming penny! Did you gorge yourself on birthday cake?!

Wifey posted the separation papers and moved into the spare room - the husband thought he had done nothing wrong, so why should he move out? How dare the wife tell him who he can and can't see! Not on!

UK passports still get stamped due to Brexit.

Possibly the best thing to come out of Brexit.

My first novel - "Of Human Bondage - in a digital age"

Here is a preview of the back cover of my first novel which is soon to be published.

It will be available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle.

 The pre-internet era is drawing to a close, and ambitious smooth-talking eighteen year old Martin falls desperately  in love with the captivating and upper class Belgian girl Isabelle - but sadly her strict Catholic upbringing prevents her from dating non-Catholics. Instead, an intense and unusual friendship develops into an unbreakable bond - which continues long after their respective marriages to Beatrice, an eccentric lapsed Catholic, and Viscount Étienne, a gentle hard working aristocrat. 

Martin has a major  life-changing heart operation which makes him re-evaluate who the most important people in his life are, and finding Beatrice’s renewed Catholicism difficult, Isabelle becomes his number One. 

Meanwhile Isabelle starts having marital difficulties and confides only in Martin, her best male friend. Smartphones and the Covid lockdowns give them the opportunity to message and ring each other from their different countries, and knowing she has an intense hold over him -  all their past feelings stir up, and Martin falls hopelessly in love with her all over again. Beatrice is blissfully and naively unaware, until a sixth sense tells her that something is grotesquely wrong with her marriage. But what? 

Sweeping over four decades from the 1980s and into the complexities of the digital age, and  with the growing phenomena of emotional affairs, the three characters are woven into a tortuous  love triangle where Martin finds himself navigating his divided loyalties amid broken hearts.

Teenage parties - some advice!

 Our youngest son had finished his GCSEs and he asked us vaguely if he could hold a party to celebrate the end of the exams. This was unusual as he doesn't really go in for parties, not even on his birthdays for the last few years. 

We said - fine, but for around 10, especially if they were staying all night.

No date was given so we assumed he had changed his mind about hosting  a party.

Then he gave us a few days notice of a party - so we braced ourselves and said fine - we asked him how many were coming.

He asked if 25 people could come.

We took a deep breath and said OK. We have an annexe so the party would be held there and the swimming pool would be available plus tennis court. One of us would need to sit by the pool most of the night for obvious reasons.

We took him shopping to get food and drinks - my husband was looking for low alcoholic beers, in cans, as glass bottles would no doubt be dropped and broken glass everywhere. We had the same approach for the soft drinks - only canned or plastic bottles. 

We decided to get carbohydrate rich food as we were warned that they would smuggle in Vodka and therefore they needed bready type food - we got a selection of pizzas, bread stick, crisps, cooked chicken jointed up, sausages, new potatoes, doughnuts, flapjacks, chocolate torte and mars bars. Some of the teenagers brought food too.

I deliberately removed any valuable items from the annexe and supplied old bedding and sleeping bags - stuff which didn't matter if it got ruined. We requested those who had tents to bring them as they could sleep in the garden - some did bring tents and sleeping bags.

On the day of the party the first guests arrived at 5.30 - a bit early we thought. Then many more arrived and our son started to lose count of who was coming - and who was staying.

The party was going well and it was still in full swing at 11pm, when some parents came to collect their children. By midnight it was still going and a lot of noisy shouting teenagers were in full throttle.

A boy jumped in the pool with his clothes on - so that was interesting. 

By 3am it was still in full flow and my husband had to go and tell them off as we were worried about neighbours hearing it - luckily we are rural and not surrounded by houses, but even so, noise carries.

Our son was on duty all night - poor boy had just had braces fitted on that day so he couldn't eat. He's not a drinker either.

We went to bed at 3 and hoped they were all going to sleep, but I woke up quite soon after as I heard noises downstairs and I had a feeling someone was looking for alcohol, so I went down and called out my son's name and whoever it was fled.

Then I went back to bed and a whole hoard of teenagers were trying to get into the main house so I called down and told them to go to the annexe.

They obeyed and went to the annexe, and then our son came to the house with 2 friends, so as I knew one of them I allowed them in and put them in the 2 spare rooms.

The next morning I was shocked at the state of the annexe -  the carpet had beer spilt all over it - there was broken glass as they had found glasses in the cupboards, and we found empty Vodka bottles - one was carefully placed in a drawer! The odd cigarette but was also in one of the bedrooms but this generation don't seem to smoke ciggies - there were some roll up papers so we assume there was a bit of whacky backie going on.

So the tips are - make sure you know who is coming - as you can lose control - especially if you have a pool. An adult needs to supervise the pool area.

Don't have glasses around - don't have valuables around - don't supply spirits or wine - they will smuggle those in anyway. Hide your drinks cupboard.

Have plenty of carb rich food and enough for breakfasts.

Make sure any bedding is old and you don't mind binning it - including pillows and duvets - make sure the mattresses are protected as they spill drink on them. Remove any valuable rugs too. A first aid kit is important. Have some adult support if you can - 2 as a minimum and prepared to stay up all night. You need to be seen to be around for emergencies.

I still don't know how many came but we think about 30 in the end - and half or more stayed, as their parents were unable to collect them.

Just hope it's a one-off!

Some Marriage Statistics

 The Coalition for Marriage has some startling statistics about the number of lovers  prior to marriage, and divorce rates

Dr Patrick Fagan served under the first Bush Presidency and is Director of MARRI (Marriage and Religion Research Institute).

According to Dr Fagan's studies, if a woman has one lover her chances of staying married after 5 years are 95%.

If a woman has 2 lovers  prior to marriage, this drops to  62% of staying married after 5 years.

If a woman has many lovers  before marriage, the chances of staying married are 50%. 

A man who has  5 lovers prior to marriage reaches  the same statistics as a woman who has 2 lovers.